Flashes of Insight

Speaking as an out and proud lesbian of some 36 years, I agree that sexuality is not necessarily lesbian or straight or even BI but a continuum and we all fall in at different places on that line.
Nothing is WRONG except being what you are not.

Only you in your deepest places know this and can make your choices. One thing though that we must take into consideration in this discussion is that we live in a society of Compulsory Heterosexuality and sometimes fear and even economics plays a huge part in a woman’s choices.

Sometimes the idea of something “forbidden” is titillating and
sometimes women go to women because men are so disappointing.
Neither of these reasons necessarily a lesbian make.

One thing to bear in mind too is no one knows better than another
woman what will feel good and we are also all different.

The natural inclination of many women is to communicate and nurture and these are the very qualities that many women wish to find in their men.and often find it in short supply.

Lesbianism is no panacea but if loving a woman feels like it
resonates to your core, then you owe it to yourself to throw heterosexist values to the wind and seek the love that you truly desire.

If you are exploring rather than wanting to commit to the
lifestyle, it might be best to try with like minded friends so that you don’t hurt a woman who is living full time as a lesbian because no one wants to be an experiment!

For me, I wasn’t “in love” with my first woman lover but, there was
something so right about it for me that I never turned back no matter how difficult relationships were at times, and all relationships are difficult at times.

What I do believe about woman loving relaitonships is that the
power dynamic of our culture where men are automatically given dominance and tend to bring that into relationships is not automatically there with another woman.

That being said though, power dynamics based on personality, class etc can invade anyone’s love life.

So, as a woman loving woman, I say try it you might just like it.
Be real with yourself and your lover and you can’t go wrong.
As a long time lesbian witch, I could not sit quietly while the discussion of lesbian feelings were being bounced about. I was concerned that my words might offend the women that are feeling their way around this issue.

I am glad that I decided to express myself. This is such a pesonal choice but as we feminist have known forever,the personal is the political and I had to bring up the political context that we as lesbians live.

I have loved women that have hidden our relationship form children,parents,coworkers etc and this internalized homophobia is so damaging and painful.

In a perfect world, we would not have destinctions for LOVE,it would just BE and it would be a much better world for sure.
I have known women that stay in abusive or lifeless marriages rather than follow their hearts often becuase of the children or simply not knowing or seeing another way.

Losing custody is a real issue and hopefully the laws will become more humane although I can’t see that trend manifesting just yet.
I know for sure that if there was an Ellen or Melissa when I was growing up, that I would have never slept with a man. As it is I was a very bad heterosexual, only had 2 men but that was quite enough.
On the other hand, I have been a wonderful lesbian because I AM ONE!!

Blessings Flash